Again, After Five Years (Flashbacks)

Warning: This post is about flashbacks, and may trigger, although I will not give details of the childhood event involved. Keep yourself safe.

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This last week I was pretty much floored by flashbacks and their aftermath. I lived five relatively crisis-free years without that sucker punch in the gut, or feeling like everything I know about myself is a lie. The crazy making part is that you know the lie is a lie, but you go with it anyway. And it just doesn’t seem possible that this is happening again.

It’s been so long I don’t even recall what the last flashback was about. This one, though, neatly completed a memory fragment, and explained some life-long hysteria with insects. (It sounds almost benign when put so matter-of-factly.) With dissociative issues, there are aspects where you reach a queasy knowing-it’s-not-resolved peace in order to move on, because you may never know or understand them completely. But that particular memory fragment was discussed in agonizing detail in therapy 15 freaking years ago! It was a done issue, as far as I was concerned. C’mon!

I wish I could say that this stuff is “over” when you’ve honestly and completely to the best of your abilities done the work. The most I can say is, this time I reached out to people much sooner, and refused to lose myself in it. That’s evidence of real, lasting progress. As I get my bearings back, I’m realizing I am okay.

Maybe the work’s effort wasn’t to be “done” so much as it was to be better prepared, and more resilient, in the future. I still want it all, though. I want to be “done”, and free of the things that can grip me in fear and make me question my sanity again.

I still think it’s possible.

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Permanent link to this article: http://thirdofalifetime.com/2010/07/27/again-after-five-years-flashbacks/

Best Tweets for Trauma Survivors (week ending 07/23/10)

Best Tweets for Trauma Survivors is a weekly Friday feature. My selections are entirely subjective, and I know it will never be possible to include every great resource tweeted. But I can try! I’ve personally read all tweeted links, and believe them to be of great value.

Disclaimer: I am in no way responsible for content found on any other website. Stay safe, and don’t follow links if you believe you might be triggered by them. Also, I will not be re-checking links from older Best Tweets posts, and if the site’s archived URL is different from the one I’ve provided here, you may need to do a search on their site.

Please add your candidates for Best Tweets For Trauma Survivors in the comments.

Standalone Tweets

@CarePathways “Today, if you had a magic wand, what would you wish for? What do you really want? Feel it. See it. Allow it.”

@twitertwotter “It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”

@empowermentguru “You will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did … sail away from the safe harbor!” ~ Mark Twain

@BeyondMeds ‎”Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ~ Meg Cabot (via @dedangelo)

@psychotherapi “People who successfully navigate change know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them.”

@zebraspolkadots “When my focus became where I wanted to go vs where I hated being — I arrived at my destination.” ~ zebism

@2morrowknight “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” ~ Bill Cosby (via @OprahBooklist)

@NoSocialAnxiety “Aspiring to perfection will get in your way” ~ Gillian Riley

@rcinstitute “WisdomWednesday: wisdom is knowing yourself and not judging yourself for who you are, but striving to do better.”

@Tamavista “Treat people as if they were what they should be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming.” ~ Goethe

@pinwheelgirl “Conquer your complacency. Show up for yourself. Make the changes you are dreaming about.”

@soulseedz “Set your standard to the highest level of love, generosity, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance.”

Linked Tweets

Personal and Child Safety Issues

@WomensLaw Man finds ex-wife and children hiding in MO domestic violence shelter through GPS. E-stalking a growing problem
[SEO: Does your phone have a GPS? Does your car? Things to take into very serious consideration if you, or someone you know, are in a domestic violence situation.]

@2morrowknight Keeping Kids Safe Online (via Huffington Post)
[SEO: Lots of good tips here.]

@KissesFromDolce Learn the 7 Steps to protecting children from child sexual abuse (via Darkness2Light.org)

@NDVH Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, has verbal abuse FAQ on her website

@wcsap Obtaining a Protection Order, a survivor’s guidebook through the court process
[SEO: A 71 page .PDF file pertains specifically to Washington state, but includes information that can help you understand the general process, and what the legal terms mean.]

The Rest of the Best

@akvet Excellent paper about the connection between PTSD and other diseases
[SEO: The population studied here is veterans, but anyone subject to PTSD from any cause needs to be aware of the increased risks and incidence of various physical ailments due to the toll of PTSD. The premise is that early treatment of PTSD could avoid much of the subsequent illnesses. Consider the implications of that statement for children traumatized by abuse who don’t receive help for PTSD until well into adulthood.]

@HealingPTSD 28 podcasts on military sexual trauma (“MST”) for active duty, veterans, friends and family

@unsuicide Can’t sleep? Video gives free, effective relief with progressive muscle relaxation

@805Therapy Depression vs. Sadness
[SEO: This is an entire Squidoo lens site devoted to various aspects of depression vs. sadness. Lots to explore!]

@arttherapynews Top 50 blogs for learning about medical art therapy
[SEO: This is a great resource! Categories include: general art therapy, blogs that offer art therapy ideas, blogs from organizations, blogs by art therapists, and blogs by those in recovery.]

@goodthingZ 7 Tips for Effective Communication
[SEO: Article pertains to both business and personal communications, but the lessons are pretty much the same. In an age of information overload, how can you be truly heard?]

@SoulHealr Do you forget to breathe when stressed?

@drcmblake How to Find Peace of Mind (in Under 500 Words) (Via Tiny Buddha)
[SEO: Even peace of mind takes practice and patience.]

@StaceyCurnow Connecting With Your Empowered Self (article by @TracyLiebmann)
[SEO: What does your authentic self look like? Simple thought/writing exercises to connect with your authentic self, and to be empowered by it. Don’t stress: there is no “right” answer — other than your own.]

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Favorite TweetStuff (week ending 07/23/10)

It’s been a monstrously hot, humid week, and I mostly want to take a nap. :) But first, here are the items I scooped up from my tweet stream that amazed, amused, and dazzled me. Distractions can be good! Kind of short, but savory — enjoy!

@liza “It is too hot outside to do anything more vigorous than immediately burst into flames.”

@MetaVisions “Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart.” ~ Pablo Casals

@anothernuday Beautiful and Relaxing Piano Melody by Mark Salona

@DavidWeedmark “He who laughs last, didn’t get it.” (via @ssanquist @paoloterni)

@unmarketing “I would enjoy the morning better if it occurred in the afternoon.”

@MishiPhoto National Geographic Photos of the Month- WOW!
[SEO: Colorful slideshow of underwater caverns in the Bahamas.]

@MetaVisions “The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” ~ Eden Phillpots

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Four New Blogs Added to Dissociation Blog Showcase! (DBS)

Special Request: If you find value in this blog showcase, please add the Dissociation Blog Showcase link to your blogroll so others can find it. Thanks!

We have amazing writers amongst us who give insight and hope to anyone struggling with dissociation, or to their loved ones. It’s a brain trust, and I treasure it. When I find new blogs, I update the Dissociation Blog Showcase (DBS) on Sunday evenings. Tonight I’ve added the following four new blogs:

Dawn Awakening

Dissociation in Detail

My Hidden Faces

REASONS YOU SHOULDN’T FUCK KIDS — **Note**: If the word offends you, don’t read this blog. But know that she uses it purposefully, and you are missing something special.

Please use the DBS link above to access these blogs, and check out the entire directory of (currently) 162 dissociation-related blogs!

As always, be careful and safe. Many of these blogs do not provide trigger warnings, nor are they obligated to do so.

I need your help! If you, or someone you know, experiences dissociation and blog about it, write to me with the URL at

sarah.e.olsonATgmailDOTcom

I review each blog before adding it to the Showcase. Thanks so much for the feedback and well-wishes for this project!

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Permanent link to this article: http://thirdofalifetime.com/2010/07/18/four-new-blogs-added-to-dissociation-blog-showcase-dbs-3/

Best Tweets for Trauma Survivors (week ending 07/16/10)

Best Tweets for Trauma Survivors is a weekly Friday feature. My selections are entirely subjective, and I know it will never be possible to include every great resource tweeted. But I can try! I’ve personally read all tweeted links, and believe them to be of great value.

Disclaimer: I am in no way responsible for content found on any other website. Stay safe, and don’t follow links if you believe you might be triggered by them. Also, I will not be re-checking links from older Best Tweets posts, and if the site’s archived URL is different from the one I’ve provided here, you may need to do a search on their site.

Please add your candidates for Best Tweets For Trauma Survivors in the comments.

Standalone Tweets

@soulseedz “The last of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose your own way.” ~ Victor Frankl

@LynnRose “Experience is NOT what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” ~ Aldous Huxley (via @naturcounselor @Fighting_Soul)

@Tamavista “All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.” ~ Thurber

@reginaldcuffee “Until you release your fears, they will always keep you in your comfort zone.”

@AlignYourEnergy “The fastest way to get to a new-and-improved situation is to make peace with your current situation. ~ Abraham

@TheDailyLove “You will thrive when the authentic you is stronger than your fear!”

@AncientProverbs “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” ~ Aristotle

@CarePathways “The last thing you want to do now is steal any more life from yourself by not living in this moment this hour this day.”

@LZeefe “The powerful forces of love, care, and compassion can change the world. Be a part of the chain. Let your voice be heard and be pro-active.”

@earthservant “I choose and accept powerful intention, new determination, enthusiasm, and creativity in the flow of grace with effortless ease.”

@soulseedz “Say to yourself: I give myself permission to be all, do all, see all, and love all, that the gift of life has to offer.”

@Tamavista “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” ~ Santayana

@CarePathways “In life there are people who will lift you up and people who will want you to fail; be with the people who lift you up.”

@Billy_Cox “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. What the world needs is people who have come alive.”

@karenkmmonroy “Try to notice the correlation between what you resist and how it persists. Amazing huh?”

@quotemeal “The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.” ~ Edward R. Murrow

Linked Tweets

@PalCheck What to do if you know someone who is suicidal
[SEO: Good basic information that you should keep handy. It could save a life.]

@KateAnthony Therapy Tales — a cartoon about avoiding eye contact.
[SEO: See the whole series at that link! And you can follow the artist on Twitter — @TherapyTales]

@Beyond Meds “You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Feel — a FAVE piece written by Nicole Urdang.”

@drcmblake Desire What You Have and Feel More Satisfied in Life (Via @zen_habits)

@psychcentral If you read this, you might see yourself in here. Which perfectionist are you?

@rcinstitute Sharing your secrets with strangers or those who don’t care violates your own boundaries.
[SEO: An encore for this article about establishing healthy boundaries. It’s vital to healing that you set healthy boundaries in your life.]

@BeyondMeds “Radical acceptance — a bit of commentary and some resources. New post inspired by @zebraspolkadots’ post Accepting Peace.”

@zebraspolkadots A Journey… Paying Homage To The Past
[SEO: In this follow-up post to “Accepting Peace” (linked directly above this entry), @zebraspolkadots describes her realization that denying what occurred in the past to try to keep its pain at bay serves merely to keep one stuck in an unhappy present.]

@goodthingZ 50 Ways to Start Fresh (in many areas of life)

@realwarriors Cool new app seeks to help those struggling with PTSD
[SEO: It’s free, available for iPhone and Android, and designed for veterans and their families. Some enterprising person should approach the developer about modifying it for non-military PTSD sufferers. Okay, I sent them an email. :) ]

@goodthingZ Stretch Your Way Into Stress Relief with These 10 Stretches
[SEO: Includes how-to pictures of each stress relief stretch.]

@HealMyPTSD Popular PTSD questions
[SEO: Excellent basic PTSD FAQ. While veterans have high visibility with respect to PTSD issues, trauma derives from many causes and results in myriad outcomes. The answers to these questions are framed in such a way to reflect that.]

@anothernuday 5 Smart and Effective Steps to Beat Stress

@KarenLPhillips Relax and listen to the sea…. (via @ssanquist)
[SEO: This is rather hypnotic. Besides relaxation, I had it on in background when writing, and it helped to keep extraneous sounds from intruding on my thought processes. Excellent!]

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Favorite TweetStuff (week ending 07/16/10)

This is my weekly compilation of favorite stuff I scooped from my Twitter stream. Amusing, inspirational, beautiful, whimsical. I love this stuff! Enjoy!

@LZeefe “I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.” ~ Carl Jung

@ROBLOVE146 “The difficult I’ll do right now. The impossible will take a little while.” ~ Billie Holiday

@writingtwit “Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness.” ~ Ray Bradbury

@jack “Look! @Alyssa_Milano and her followers funded the construction of 18 (!) clean water wells, this one in Ethiopia.” (video)

@zakaraya “There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.” ~ John Berger

@Quotes4Writers “It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.” ~ Edna St Vincent Millay (1892 – 1950) US Poet

@pianomaths “Sometimes just taking things back to basics and grabbing a teddy bear, lovely music and stopping everything is the way forward.”

@sdesic 43 Of The World’s Most Stunning Lighthouses (via @Maria_bg)

@quotesource “Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it’s addressed to someone else.” ~ Ivern Ball

@LZeefe “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” ~ Bette Davis

@awollenberg Story of the day: shy tortoise finds love with plastic mate (via @MindInFlux)

@NewMindMirror “Curiosity is insubordination in its purest form.” ~ Vladimir Nabokov

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