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I think about self care a lot, mostly in terms of how I’m not very good at it. I struggle with feeling that it’s bordering on self-indulgence when there are so many other things tugging at me. And time passes, leaving me wondering why I didn’t do some of the simplest, most obvious things for myself.

Below is a sampling of my Self Care board on Pinterest, which currently holds 137 pins. You can get there by clicking on the Pinterest button at the bottom of the graphic. [If the graphic is not displaying by email, you can visit my Self Care board here.] I visit regularly to remind myself to be gentle with and good to myself. I visit to confirm that caring for myself matters. And I visit to renew my pledge that I will fulfill this promise to myself.

Do you need reminding, too?

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2013 was a wild year for me. I had a form of weight loss surgery in late April called duodenal switch, and the results have been phenomenal. Not just for the weight loss, which is a blessing in itself, but there’s so much more going on. There’s a synergy happening in me now that I find astonishing.

(Photo Credit)

• I’ve regained mobility I’ve not experienced in 20 years, in no small part due to twice weekly physical therapy that both exhausts and exhilerates me. I’ve never exercised like this in my life, ever.

• A year ago, I functioned (barely) only because of daily prescription pain meds, muscle relaxers, and handfuls of Ibuprofen. Today I seldom take any of these.

• A year ago, I only left the house for doctor appointments, and even taking Vicodin, would nearly pass out from the pain going up my front eight steps. Today it is but a twinge, without pain meds. In addition to all my PT sessions, my hubby and I also went leaf-peeping in the New England autumn six weekends in a row, plus enjoyed several car trips at Christmas just to look at all the lights. We’re planning a vacation.

• I feel good, and I feel healthier than I’ve ever felt in my life. And it’s only getting better every single day. To say I’m grateful seems so … small.

2013 was the year of finally doing what needed to be done to set me free physically. 2014 will be about setting me free mentally and emotionally. It’s hard to write productively when you’re in chronic pain, and it seems endless. It’s hard to be creative when confined to those constraints.

It’s still hard to write, but I can’t blame it on the 2013 things any more! And I feel I’ve wasted far too much time the last 10 years, when just living was a terrible struggle.

I have ambitious plans for 2014, and they all hinge on writing:

• Format Becoming One for ebook distribution

• Finalize and publish the followup book, Becoming One Every Day

• Finish the first draft of a psychological novel with which I’m more than mildly obsessed. My first foray into fiction since college — and it’s time.

I have a few other projects percolating as well. I’m starting a new blog series about self-care for trauma survivors. I’ve always paid lip service to self-care. I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do, but it wasn’t till 2013 that I actually began doing it. Much of that was done purely on faith that it would have any impact at all — but not doing it would have been a huge missed opportunity. Again, saying I’m grateful seems so inadequate, so I intend to pay it forward here on my blog. Look for the first in the series soon!

My word for 2014 is: write.
 
 

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Time to turn the lights back on! It’s so good to be back — it’s been forever! My blog got hijacked in some mumbo-jumbo about databases, and that was just the beginning. Meanwhile, I’ve had pressing family matters that took priority — both in terms of actual time, and emotional energy — over trying to find the solution. I’m finally able to post again, and I’ve got a lot to say, but it’s Christmas Eve Eve, and everyone’s probably busier than I am.

My hope for everyone is for joyous and healthy holidays, and a new year that brings wonder and yes, even some adventure. I’m especially looking forward to that part!

Thank you for your patience, and for hanging in there with me! Thank you to those who’ve dropped me notes of encouragement and strength during some trying times. Thank you to my new subscribers, who signed on even though not much was happening. I truly appreciate it!

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If you had a choice between change forced by unwanted circumstances, or that which blooms from a long sequence of actions you willingly participated in, but really had no idea how it would all turn out … which would you choose?

Today marks three months since I had my surgery. I know. I’ve been away too long. But I’ve had a lot of time to think.

I feel like I can breathe deeply again after years of shallow-breathing self-denial. Life changed radically as a result of my duodenal switch surgery. It’s not just about losing weight. It’s also about gaining health, and regaining mobility, and both come with many new choices. Things are beginning to snap back to present focus, and I’m changing, too.

For the first time in years I am seriously considering writing the sequel to my book Becoming One! So much has happened in my inner world since it was published in 1997. I have much more to say about dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, and the therapy process. I’ve evolved in many ways. Book Two has waited patiently for me to reach a point where I feel I can do it justice.

But first, I want to update and reorganize the thousands of mental health resources I’ve posted here at Third of a Lifetime. They’ll always have a home here, but I also want to disseminate them to a broader audience. The number one blogging lesson I’ve learned is that blog marketing is endless. I’d rather spend much more of my time writing than blog marketing, and I have a few ideas on how to make that work. So the first order of business will be a mostly behind the scenes spiffing up of mental health resources here.

While I’ve stopped publishing new issues of Best Tweets for Trauma and PTSD Survivors, I’ve never stopped promoting new mental health resources. I’m active every day on Twitter and Pinterest. Follow me there! You can also find my latest pins to my PTSD Resources Pinterest board in the sidebar here.

I’m excited about having so many new writing project ideas! It’s sooo overdue. Once the mental health resources are presentable, I’ll be back to let you know what I plan to do with them. It’s a new journey, and I’m hoping you’ll come along with me!